#052- Changes...

Yesterday I got to see my little brother get his degree from SUNY Buffalo. The drive down and back was ridiculous, the ceremony was packed and quite long, but the energy in the place was amazing. This summer will be the first time all of us will be back together under the same roof in a long while. I don't really know how to feel about it because although it's good to see my sibs, past experiences have shown that things work out better when we only see each other in small doses. Now that I've finally got a temp job, (which doesn't start til the 31st), I can focus even more on finding that first career job, I'm really hoping I find something because I can't stand being at home much longer. I've already gotten the talk about going back to school and improving on my resume, maybe even going for a masters. I know that's not for me though, I've had enough school for one lifetime and if I do go back I'll just suck at it more because my heart isn't in it.

What I need now is a chance, to prove myself. Something that will get me out the door and into the world. It feels like I've closed myself off from it these last few months anyway...

#051- Stranger...

It's been 5 months, and I still feel like a stranger in my own hometown. Went to tulip fest today, not only did I see almost no one I recognize, but I felt like I barely even knew the people I was with. Talking about people and things that had no relevance to me, I felt like the 5th wheel just being dragged along as a spare. I miss NYC/ LI, my friends, and being a part of a group that gets me.

In other news, I found a new rather low paying job here. I'm glad that I at least found something, but it sucks that I spent all that time at school only to get a part-time job at Target. I can't... This is not how I pictured post-grad life.